mandag den 24. januar 2011

Poem # 1

The best is when I am having fun



I am home alone tonight
Oh, I am afraid
I hear something
Oh, I am afraid
I cannot sleep
Oh, I am afraid
I see a car outside
Oh, I am afraid
I hear steps
Oh, I hate my life!

I love summer
Uh, that’s great
The sun is burning in my face
Uh, that’s great
I am on the beach with my friends
Uh, that’s great
We have got ice-cream and drinks
Uh, that’s great
Now it’s time for a little swim
Uh, that’s the best for me.


It is dark outside
Oh, I am afraid
I am walking by my self
Oh, I am afraid
The tress is moving
Oh, I am afraid
Someone is walking behind me
Oh, I am afraid
I start running
Oh, I hate my life!

The music is loud
Uh, that’s great
I know this song
Uh, that’s great
I sing along
Uh, that’s great
It is about love going on
Uh, that’s great
Please don’t stop
Uh, that’s the best for me.




                                                                                                                                                                                            

4 kommentarer:

  1. it is a good poem with a structure you have bad and good things - good job!

    SvarSlet
  2. nice rhytm/flow. it is good with repeatment in the stanzas and it is very black and white, meaning to sides in the poem.
    lasse, jonas

    SvarSlet
  3. David og Camilla
    Remember: We do remember it because of the repeat of the lines.

    Rhyme: There is not any rhyme, but it does not ruin the poem.

    Flow/rhythm: The repeating lines kind of stop the flow. It's like a break in the poem.

    SvarSlet
  4. 2 x Kristoffer:
    We miss a little progress in the poem, and the themes don't make us think.

    SvarSlet